The Tears of a Clown (Julia)

[jennbennett]

Jenna sat in the sand on the shore of Long Island Sound. She smiled a little as she played with the sand, letting it run through her fingers. That made her think of the couple of times her dad had taken her to the beach when she was little, and that made her sigh again. She was skipping out on arts and crafts. She'd actually literally gotten up and walked out. Jenna Bennett, the eternal optimist, had left arts and crafts seemingly lost in thought, which wasn't actually too strange for her. It was no surprise that people called her Flower Child. She acted a lot like a hippie, though considering her father had been one it really wasn't a surprise. She was bubbly and happy, always looking for something good in everything. On top of that she was a daughter of Demeter who preferred a peaceful solution to having to fight someone.

She looked down into the water next to her. A girl with dark eyes and brown hair stared back at her. The girl wore Jenna's bead necklace, her orange camp shirt, and her jean shorts. It was even her face, but the expression didn't fit. If that was her reflection, the girl should have been smiling. Instead she looked sad and confused, with tear streaks on her face. Sad was not an expression worn by Jenna Bennett. With a scowl, she swiped her hand across the surface of the water, the ripples making her face impossible to make out for a moment. With that she lay on her back, face to the sun, with her eyes shut.

Come on. Be the bubbly, happy, optimist. Stop thinking about... about what you can't get back. Everyone thought she was eternally happy, but that's because she hid her sadness from even her half-siblings. Truth was, she couldn't shake her thoughts of home right now, and those thoughts always made her sad. She'd left arts and crafts because some of the demi-gods had been joking about how the crafts made them feel like little kids, and about taking the projects home to show their parents. Jenna couldn't help that talk of home and family made her sad. It kind of happened when someone didn't really have the ability to go home. Because that was another problem with the reflection in the water, it was too young. She'd spent a little over two and a half decades in the Lotus Hotel, never aging, never aware of the time that was passing around her.

I should be in my forties. Instead, she'd been retrieved from the hotel by Hermes. It had been twenty-six years since she'd entered, and she had still been physically thirteen. Sure she could have gone home, her father and aunts would still be alive. If she did, though... They wouldn't know who I was. Or they wouldn't believe it anyways. So in many ways she didn't have a home or family to go back to, not like the other campers. Sure, some of them had issues with their mortal or immortal parent, but they still had something outside of this camp. Jenna had nothing to go back to. So every now and then she'd end up thinking of home, and it would turn her sunny personality to partly cloudy as she found herself wishing for the normal life she couldn't have.

On the up side, I still have my mom. And I don't blame her for any of this. Then again, Demeter had been around long before Jenna and would be around for long after. But right now that was the best she could do for a positive side of this. It was something positive, which meant she'd get her bubbly self back before too long She just never could really conquer these thoughts of sadness that came with thinking of her past. It was why she tried to avoid them as much as possible, but sometimes they just surfaced anyways. For now she had some alone time to get over them, unless someone else came wandering out onto the beach. Maybe I can get away with convincing them I'm just enjoying the nice day. They'd believe that. Or they would if it weren't for the tear streaks on her face.

Posting For: Julia
Word Count: 739

[Julia Porter]

The day was far from being over, and it had taken it’s sweet time getting to this point already. Almost as if Apollo was just keeping his chariot in the sky to lengthen the time certain demi-gods had to be at sword practice. Or maybe it had just been the fact that Julia was absolutely horrible with a weapon that made it seem that much longer. In all honesty most of her siblings weren’t the best with weapons, but Julia absolutely detested fighting. At least she’d been paired with a boy from another cabin and had been able to distract him and convince him to go easy on her so that she didn’t get anything more than a few scratches. She’d have to be careful, apply her makeup with more precision than normal to hide them. Being a daughter of Aphrodite made it easier for her, but Julia was still paranoid about it. She had even skipped out on gossiping a bit with some of her siblings, something she would love normally, in order to do what she could. She’d have to get better at fighting. Charmspeaking was a good way to influence your enemies, but it was fairly draining itself and wouldn’t work on everyone.

She’d decided that quiet time was needed; she needed somewhere to relax and calm herself down. Getting too emotional tended to end badly for her and those around her, usually with Julia using her abilities to convince people to do something or think something that they normally wouldn’t. It was moods like this that caused her to ruin relationships, and she knew that she really wasn’t that kind of person. Plus these people were her family and she didn’t want to be known as the one who messed everything up between each cabin by causing havoc in one relationship. The cabin hadn’t been quiet enough, obviously. Neither had any of the other places she tried. For such a large camp it was certainly full of people; they were everywhere. And so the blond took to just wandering around, trying to find some secluded place she hadn’t seen before.

Her meandering eventually brought her to the beach, which seemed pretty clear. Good. She slipped her shoes off and stepped onto the shore, just focusing on the feeling of the grains of sand on her feet, on the beauty of the day. She needed to calm herself down, to just have some time to forget about what had happened at sword practice yes; but also to forget about everything else that was going wrong in her life. Joel was potentially helping her annoying half-brother in planning to wreck havoc on the world and she hadn’t even fully figured out her thoughts on the son of Triton. Well that wasn’t quite true. She had fallen head over heels for him. And that bothered her a little. At least in her mind, daughters of Aphrodite weren’t supposed to be falling over other people. Other people were supposed to fall over them. She needed to talk to her mother about all of this, or at least one of her siblings that she could trust to not judge her too harshly. She sighed, scanning the beach again.

Julia’s eyes drifted to a figure on the beach not too far off. Well, her desire for privacy wasn’t quite going to work out it seemed. Instead of turning and leaving, heading back to find a new place to just get away from the world, Julia approached the person. Even without being good with emotions she would have been able to tell that something was wrong. ”It’s a beautiful day to just spend some time on the beach, isn’t it?

[/color] She laughed, running a hand through her hair as she looked over the young woman on the shore [/blockquote][/blockquote]

WC: 636
Mood: Fun
Tag: The Hippie Jenna Bennett[/size]

[jennbennett]

Jenna heard the voice before she saw who it had come from, though a lot of that was because she'd still had her eyes closed. It was only after Julia had spoken to her that she'd been aware there was anyone else around. After that she sat up and opened her eyes, turning until she saw Julia. Jenna gave her a smile and said, "Yeah, it's beautiful out. And this is such a nice spot to come when you want to get away from everything." Or it was at least a nice place to get away from everything but your own thoughts, which were kind of inescapable anyways.

"I'm Jenna Bennett, daughter of Demeter." She tried to keep the smile on her face, but then the thoughts had to resurface. Thoughts about how Bennett was a last name of a man who wouldn't even know who she was. The expression faded and Jenna found herself staring at the sand. "Sorry. I'm usually better company than this, but I'm not my usual self right now. I was... thinking about things I'd rather not think about." She was human, emotionally speaking. Was it really so bad if she wasn't always sunny and happy? Admittedly she'd tried to keep people from knowing about this little fact, but maybe it was better if people knew. She was growing up, and maybe the emotional depth she was gaining was a sign of that.

She traced patterns in the sand with her finger tip, wondering what to say now. Usually she was better at conversation too, even if she tended to just babble. Right now she just wanted to forget everything about her past, forget how she couldn't go home at the end of the summer like so many campers would. "I'm usually really bubbly and happy. Right now, I'm more like overcast and gloomy. I'd completely understand if you wanted to go find someone else to talk to. I wouldn't blame you."

This was the side of Jenna people didn't usually see. The always sunny Jenna Bennett people saw wasn't a mask or anything, but she just usually tried to hid when she wasn't in that mood. She usually didn't go about advertising when she wasn't Jenna the eternal optimist, when she was Jenna the lost, Jenna the homeless. This was just one of the few times she'd been caught attempting to hide. She wasn't mad that someone knew.

She smiled again, but this time the expression felt slightly forced. It wasn't any less honest, she was relatively happy, but it just felt like inside her heart was still battling to banish the thoughts. She felt like the smile seemed happier than she actually felt, if that made any sense. "I'm really sorry. You seem so happy right now I... I don't want to ruin your mood or anything. It's just taking a bit to shake these thoughts is all."

OOC: I don't think I like gloomy Jenna much. And this kind of feels like she's babbling and I'm rambling.
Posting For: Julia Porter
Word Count: 511

[Julia Porter]

Julia watched as the other demi-god opened her eyes and turned until she saw who was speaking. Good, there was a smile. The last thing Julia needed was for the person she had encountered to be angry at the world and to lash out at her. A nice calm talk was what she needed right now. ”Seems like we had the same idea.”

[/color] She said, moving to take a seat on the sand next to the girl. ”I’ve been looking all over camp for a place where twenty other campers aren’t milling about and trying to joke about something or other.”[/color]

A daughter of Demeter… Julia actually hadn’t met any of those during her time at camp so far. ”It’s nice to meet you Jenna. I’m Julia Porter, daughter of Aphrodite.”[/color] Hopefully there wouldn’t be any of the assumptions that usually went along with her mother’s name. Julia tried to not make assumptions about other campers until she got to know them; it just didn’t seem right to group someone into a personality category just because of who their parent was. Though she did tend to find herself categorizing people based on what they were wearing and how it looked on them… ”Everyone has their off days.”[/color] She said, nodding her head a little. And every demi-god had something on their mind that they didn’t want to think about.

”Like I said, I’ve been spending my time trying to get away from all of the happy campers.”[/color] She chuckled for a moment at her little pun before continuing. ”Not everyone can be all smiles and sunshine all the time. And sometimes it’s just good to talk to someone who’s in the same mood as you.”[/color] Heck, maybe Julia would even be able to help the girl out. Even though she knew that everyone had off days Julia didn’t really like the whole idea of pessimism. She let out a sigh, running her hand through her hair and quickly checking her arm for the scratches she already knew were there. Nothing looked like it would scar, but there would be some obnoxious little cuts for a little bit. Great. Just great.

”I seem happy. Well I guess I’m a better actress than I thought.”[/color] She let out another laugh, looking over the other girl for a moment. ”I’m not in the best of moods. Having to practice with a sword can do that to me. I can’t stand it, actually. But I guess I have to do it anyway if I’m going to not get killed by a monster later on in life.”[/color] She rolled her eyes. Like that many monsters decided to target children of Aphrodite. They would have to be one bored monster to do that, in Julia’s opinion. After all, most people just brushed off the children of the love goddess.

”So what’s on your mind? Anything I could help you with?”[/color] Who knew, it could be a boy issue or something. And even if it wasn’t she would try to help. Blame the ‘being loving’ part of Aphrodite for that. It wasn’t all about flirting with boys and setting up relationships.[/blockquote][/blockquote]

Words: 510
Tag: Jenna Bennett[/size]

[jennbennett]

So Jenna wasn't the only person trying to get away at the moment. And the other girl did have a point. It was hard to find anywhere at this camp where you could be alone, anywhere that was relatively quiet. There were so many campers around, and they seemed to be everywhere. "I know what you mean. There's so many people here it seems impossible to find somewhere quiet." Then again, that also had it's benefits, because it meant that there were that many more demi-gods who knew what they were and were somewhere safe, being taught to deal with their life. Because gods know we have no option but to deal with it.

The girl introduced herself as Julia, the daughter of Aphrodite. Jenna could see how she was the daughter of the goddess of love, because she was absolutely gorgeous. Then again, all the kids from that particular goddess inherited their mother's looks. They seemed to have an inherent ability to make heads turn when they walked past too. Everyone seemed to always think the children of Aphrodite weren't any good for anything but holding a mirror, although there were several who acted like that. "I've always thought it would be nice to be a daughter of Aphrodite. For one you can fluently speak French, and foreign languages are always useful. Not that I have anything against my own mother. It's just that each god and goddess comes with their own set of perks."

Julia did have a point too. No one could be happy all the time, and sometimes when you weren't happy it was nicer to get away from all the people who were and just be around someone who understood how you felt. Misery loved company, but unlike the typical meaning of that phrase, sometimes the miserable person didn't want to make other people upset. You didn't want to spread the bad mood, you wanted to get rid of it. She couldn't help but smile a little at the joke Julia made and listen as she explained that, despite how she seemed, she wasn't in a great mood. She'd been at sword fighting, something she didn't excel at, and from the looks of things she'd come out a little worse for the wear.

"I'm not all that fond of sword fighting either. Then again, I'm a bit of a pacifist when it comes to people. Monsters don't do peace, so I know I'll have to learn to deal with them, but I guess I wonder if some of us are really much of a target. Although, monsters are meant to kill heroes, and a hero doesn't alway become one by winning battles. I heard one of you sisters died in the Battle of Manhattan, but if it hadn't been for her the Ares Cabin would have never helped in the battle. She was a hero, and no one ever said she won any big battles." She shrugged. "So maybe you're not great at it, but you'll probably need it because for all you know you could be one of the camp's next big heroes. You're good for more than holding a mirror, no matter what most of the camp might think."

Then came the questions about what was on Jenna's mind, which was little gloomier than Julia's emotions about sword fighting. Although, she might as well give Julia a chance to help her. After all, you never knew what someone else might see that you missed. "I was thinking about my past. There's just... parts of my life that are missing, things people usually take for granted." That wasn't the clearest, but she wasn't going to end there.

"Before I came to camp, almost two years ago, I spent twenty-six years trapped in the Lotus Hotel. It's in Las Vegas, and basically it's meant to be so distracting that you never leave. Inside the hotel you don't age, and you don't know how much time is passing outside." Jenna shifted how she was sitting, pulling one of her legs up so she could hug it to herself. "I stayed thirteen for all those years, and meanwhile my mortal family continued to age. They're still alive, I've asked, but the problem is that they wouldn't believe who I was if I told them."

She sighed. She could have stopped there, but that wasn't the whole truth. She only hoped that Julia wouldn't think she was being silly or selfish or, heaven forbid, think that she was ranting as she continued. "So many of the other campers, they have a family they can go back to. Some go home at the end of every summer. Some don't have the best relationship with their mortal parents, but even then they have the chance to fix it. Meanwhile, I don't have a choice about staying here. I don't have a home outside of the camp." She had been looking at Julia's face the whole time she was talking, giving the girl eye contact, something done out of respect. But now Jenna's eyes drifted down to the sand, as if she was ashamed. "I guess, sometimes I wish I just had some sort of normal life. And whenever I hear someone complaining about their life, I can't help but feel jealous and feel like they're being silly. Maybe there are bad parts to having a mortal family, but there's all the good parts. I don't have any of that, and I didn't even realize what I had until I lost it."

Posting For: Julia Porter
Word Count: 972

[Julia Porter]

”Being around large groups of people isn’t a really good idea for me when I’m in this kind of mood. Strong emotions can lead to me… influencing other people to do things that they might not want to. And then There’s just confusion all around.”

[/color] She smirked, though there really wasn’t anything to joke about when it came to Charmspeaking.

She rolled her eyes when Jenna said that she had always thought that it would be a good thing to be a child of the love goddess, expecting the other girl to say something about always looking good or never having to worry about boys. Because Julia knew that one wasn’t true. Getting boys to fall for you was one thing, it was fun even, but when you fell for them it was something completely different. A look of pleasant surprise came across her features when Jenna elaborated on her previous statement, instead bringing up the innate ability to speak French as the reason she had thought that being an Aphrodite child would be nice. Oh did Julia have stories about that one.

”I guess I can see where you’d think that.”[/color] She laughed, thinking about her first time in France. ”But it’s kind of weird when you’re in France with your family and you can suddenly speak as well as the French themselves. Freaked me out. I had studied it in school but all of a sudden I was holding a complete conversation with them and my dad was just staring at me.”[/color]

Julia nodded along when Jenna said she was a pacifist when it came to people. Julia really hated fighting another person, and she certainly couldn’t imagine herself killing someone else. Monsters were different if it really came down to it. They respawned. She tensed a bit, her hands curling into fists quickly when the other girl brought up her half-sister. Julia had never met Selina Beauregard, but she had heard different stories from different people. If this girl was one of those that believed Selina was a traitor then Julia would ignore the fact she was a pacifist and take a swing at her. But she was able to relax a bit as Jenna went on to call Selina a hero; that was what Julia believed she was. She even managed a smile when Jenna said she was good for more than holding a mirror.

The other girl started to open up and Julia turned to watch her. The Lotus Hotel? Julia had heard about that. It terrified her. She looked Jenna over again, feeling a pang of pity for the demi-god. That must have been horrible, to go into the hotel and emerge twenty-six years later. The whole world would be new… Everyone you knew would have grown up. Not to even get started on fashion trends. She shook that thought away, listening to Jenna again. Julia couldn’t imagine that. She didn’t spend too much with her father, between his business and her being at boarding school… But the little time they spent together was precious to her.

When Jenna finally broke eye contact and looked down at the sand Julia felt another wave of pity hit her. Why was she complaining about having to practice with a sword when there were certainly demi-gods with far worse problems? ”You know… It’s not the same obviously, but you’ve got the family you’ll make here. And not just half-siblings and your mother. I haven’t even been here that long and I honestly think they’re more supportive than my dad has been at points. Definitely more than my step-mom.” She offered, hoping that she would be able to do something to comfort the other girl. Though technically she was a good deal older than Julia…[/color][/blockquote][/blockquote][/size]

[jennbennett]

Jenna enjoyed talking to Julia. Despite that she'd come down here to be alone, it was nice to talk to someone who was also in a bad mood and who could sympathize with just wanting a little peace. Maybe Julia couldn't exactly understand Jenna's whole life story, but who could understand anyone else's life without living it themselves? Jenna certainly wouldn't recommend living her life to anyone, because it wasn't nice to "wake up" and find that the world had changed around you. She felt like Rip Van Winkle sometimes, seeing how the world had suddenly changed around her. The only thing was that unlike Rip, Jenna hadn't aged. She was even more removed from her life.

She listened to Julia talk, smiling at her story of when she'd discovered that she could speak fluent French. "That had to be really interesting. But it's still a definitely useful skill." From what she'd said earlier, it sounded like she could also charmspeak, so Julia could do a lot even without fighting. Jenna definitely didn't regret her statements about Silena, despite that she'd seen Julia tense up when she'd brought up the other daughter of Aphrodite. Jenna couldn't blame her. There were a lot of stories about how Silena had betrayed the camp. In Jenna's eyes, though, Luke and Silena had both died heroes in their own ways. They'd done the right thing in the end, forget any mistakes they might have made. Everyone made mistakes. You shouldn't condemn them for that.

She was still looking down at the sand when Julia started talking. Her words caused Jenna to look back up at her, because Jenna had never thought about the rest of the people at camp as being a family. Sure she'd always thought of her mother and her half-siblings through Demeter as family, but she hadn't stopped to consider that the others at camp were something of a family for her. She might not have a mortal family outside of the camp, but she had people who cared about her just the way she was, people here at camp that she could look to and depend on.

"You know, for someone who's usually an optimist, I seem to be kind of blind when it comes to my own life," she said, she smiled a little, but you could tell she felt like a bit of an idiot. "I'd never thought about the idea that I have a family here. We're not blood related, but not all families are." It was like an adoptive family. "I guess it's harder to see what you have, when you're always wishing for something more." She felt like Ariel the Little Mermaid at that, thinking about how she'd wanted more than the life she had when it wasn't like her life had been entirely horrible. Sometimes your heart just wanted something, and it blinded you to what you had. You'd give anything to get it, and never once consider that you should just count your blessings.

But there was still one question on her mind. "Julia, do you think I'm being silly wanting a normal life after everything I've been through? I mean, I can never have the life I'd dream about having, but I'd like to feel like just another girl, or as close as I can get with all the demi-god stuff." What did she mean by that? She wanted to have friends and family who cared about her, something she did have. She wanted to date, maybe even fall in love. "Physically and mentally I'm still fifteen, no matter how many years I've actually been alive for. I want to feel like I'm just another teenage girl, with all the drama that can come with it, and forget for a moment that I'm anything different." But was she really anything different? Like she'd said, her chronological age meant nothing. Why shouldn't she see herself the way she wanted to?