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Post by Avery Reynolds on Jun 28, 2011 15:35:08 GMT -5
 Of all the things that Avery thought she would never do, this was one of them. She was sitting up on a bed in the infirmary, supported by at least five pillows, with at least five stitches in her head after having had it washed in about a gallon of disinfectant, a bandage that was concealed beneath her hair and was ten times more comfortable to have on than the half of Ryan's jacket that she'd tied around the injury. Someone had brought her fresh clothes, and she'd scrubbed herself down so that at least most of the grime and dirt and blood was off of her body. The only thing that was left to be tended to was her wrist, and after a healer had felt around it (which had hurt like hell, by the way, and Avery had been about ready to kill the lady before she'd finally stopped), it was discovered that the wrist would have to be reset and wrapped in a cast.
So there she was, sitting with her five pillows and two blankets and fresh clothes (which were very obviously NOT hers, considering as she never wore the color pink unless she wanted to kill herself... which was never), her broken wrist laid out very carefully on a side table. Avery did her best not to move it, considering as every time she did a burning pain shot up her arm. She'd also downed some nectar and ambrosia, so in retrospect she actually looked a lot better than she had first coming back to camp.
But there was still something wrong. It was obvious in the way that she didn't make direct eye contact with anyone, her rigid posture as if she wouldn't allow herself to be comfortable, the emptiness in her dark eyes and in her voice when she spoke. Anyone who came by her couldn't help but look at her and barely recognize her, or feel pity. This was not the Avery Reynolds that had left on a quest, all gung-ho for adventure and getting out of camp for the first time in a long time. No, this was a girl who'd been broken by guilt, by fear, and pain. There was going to be a time when she would be restored to the spunky, fiery, mischievous daughter of Hermes, but today was not that time. And even then, she would never be the same. Not after what had happened.
There were deep, dark rings under Avery's eyes, showing how absolutely exhausted she was. And while she was allowed to take periodic naps, she had not yet indulged in one. She was too scared to fall asleep, for fear of what she would see when she did close her eyes. Would she see a raging ocean, a boat barely riding its rough and impossible tides? Or would she see Aria, swirling away into the depths like a ragdoll, while Avery had been unable to find her in the water? Would she see the empousa and the two giants, waiting to devour her and tear her apart? Or would she see Deimos, standing there and telling her over and over again how much she wasn't going to be missed, how little she meant to everyone? She didn't want to see any of those things, and just the thought of them brought a fresh round of stinging tears to her eyes. She clenched her eyes shut, trying to keep them from falling. She hated crying. She hated being weak, but that was what she was. Maybe she hated herself. She had every right to, didn't she?
"This has to be the shittiest eighteenth birthday ever," she groaned, her eyes not yet open again. She wanted to spend the rest of her life hidden away right now, and for a moment she allowed herself to pretend that as long as her eyes were closed, the world didn't see her.
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Post by Azrael Everett on Jul 13, 2011 10:53:45 GMT -5
 Azrael had followed the Apollo kids to the Big House. He wasn’t just going to trust they would fix Avery and merrily skip off back to the forest. One, he didn’t merrily skip or skip in general and two, Az needed to know Avery would be okay. They refused to let him into the room while they healed her and for once Azrael didn’t argue. He knew that in the room he would be in the way, but he had to be near Avery. And after pacing and nearly running a rut in the floor Azrael finally took a seat outside beside the door. He had been wide-awake minutes before but as he sat there and his thoughts lingered on Avery he started to drift off to sleep.
His dream was like any other dream. Reality mixed with a boat load of things that made no sense but in the world of a dream were perfectly logical. The only thing that really jumped out at him was when he saw Avery standing on the dock at camp. He walked over to her his hands shaking slightly. He was wearing his gloves so he could touch her without problems. A small smile crossed his face and he reached out. Just before he tapped her on the shoulder she turned abruptly. And to Azrael surprise and horror it wasn’t Avery like he had previously thought. From behind it looked just like her but Azrael found himself starring into the face of Katrina, her features bruised and hair matted with dry blood. Azrael recoiled, her lifeless eyes staring back at him. For a moment her face morphed between Katrina’s and Avery’s.
“Why...” the voice was distorted and had an edge of sorrow to it. It pulled at both Azrael’s stomach and heartstrings. In the blink of an eye Katrina lunged forward with a look of anger in her eyes.
Azrael jarred awake. His head flew up so fast that he hit it on the wall behind him. Gingerly his rubbed his head. The door opened beside him and some young doofy looking Apollo kid was staring down at him. He muttered something about going in to see Avery now. Azrael was still in that half a sleep stage and just waved the kid away. After tending to his head and shoving the haunting image of Katrina from his mind momentarily, Azrael realized that the Apollo guy gave him the OK to see Avery. She was alright. Azrael popped up and took a deep breath before entering, not wanting to look too eager.
Slowly Azrael stuck his head into the room and saw Avery lying on the bed. He quietly made his way over to the bed. She didn’t initially see him as her eyes were shut, perhaps he picked a good time to come in. This way he was already inside the room before she had the chance to bark at him to get out. Azrael couldn’t help but scoff a little at her comment. He cleared his throat, “If I had known it was your birthday I would have brought you some cake and balloons.” It was his weak attempt at cheering her up.
Azrael pulled up a chair and sat down not caring to be invited to stay or not. He continued to smile at her even though the smile was almost sad in nature. Inside his head though Azrael was thanking the God or morals, if there was one, that Avery was now eighteen. He probably shouldn’t have been focusing on that but it was a small victory. “Hey,” he said after the fact. “How are you feeling? You look better, those Apollo kids are miracle workers...not that you needed a miracle I just mean...” Azrael bit his tongue and adverted his eyes cursing silently. He forced another smile and looked back to her.
“Let me start again. You look good.” |
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Post by Avery Reynolds on Jul 15, 2011 13:37:20 GMT -5
Her plan to make herself disappear didn't seem to be going very well. While she wanted nothing more than to teleport somewhere far away where she would never see anyone she knew ever again, Avery was perfectly aware that she at least wanted to get healed first, and that she did in fact have to stick around to keep an eye on things. After all, if what Deimos had said on the quest was true... then there was a war coming. Her and Ryan had single-handedly started a war. While that was an accomplishment that, before, Avery would have celebrated with some a few smuggled shots of whiskey and maybe some homemade fireworks aimed directly at the Athena cabin... she didn't even feel like making the effort to getting whiskey smuggled into camp now. She felt like nothing. She felt... broken. Like a toy that couldn't be fixed. Something in her was different somehow, and the daughter of Hermes knew that it was highly unlikely that she would ever be the same again.
Of course, that was when his voice reached her ears, and Avery's eyes flew open in a panic and she started a little on her cot, only to wince as she realized that her body was far too bruised and battered to be making any sudden movements right now. "What the hell are you doing here?" she demanded to know before she could stop herself. Then she had a mini heart attack, having realized how that might have sounded. For some reason, she had no intention of wanting Az to leave, even though the idea of anyone she cared about seeing her like this was utterly detestable. Then again... since when was Azrael Everett someone she cared about? But before she could lose herself in even more thoughts, Avery decided (what felt like for the first time in her life) to correct herself. "Sorry. I just... why are you here, and not... doing something else that doesn't involve seeing me like this?" And quite honestly, she wanted to know, too. What the hell was Az doing here when he could be doing something like sleeping or eating or doing something else? She wasn't worth coming to see. She couldn't be any fun sitting around on this stupid old cot with injuries galore.
She groaned at the thought of cake and balloons. She recognized the feeble attempt to make her feel better, so she at least made an effort to smile. "You might've brought them, but I wouldn't have eaten the cake or pop the balloons. The thought of eating anything makes me sick." Even though her stomach was screaming in protest to that statement. She hadn't eaten anything since a small snack on that boat. The only thing in her stomach right now was nectar and ambrosia, and even that would only tide her over for so long before real hunger kicked in. Yet, Avery couldn't imagine herself eating anything. She couldn't even imagine herself doing anything to help herself when there was a demi-god dead out there because of her failure. She shouldn't even be here, having her injuries tended to. But she didn't exactly have much of a choice in the matter.
"How I feel doesn't matter," Avery spat bitterly in response to Az's question. "I'm alive, and I shouldn't be. I should be dead - at the bottom of the ocean or back at that island with that empousa chowing down on what was left of me." She looked away, once again reprimanding herself silently. Az didn't come here to hear about how she felt, he didn't come here because he cared - she refused to believe that. He was here because of something else, anything else. "Just... thanks." She eyed him sitting there in a chair beside her, and scoffed a bit. "You don't have to stick around and feel sorry for me all because I'm hurt. I don't do pity, especially from people around here."
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Post by Azrael Everett on Sept 9, 2011 10:38:47 GMT -5
 The anger of Avery upon seeing him was not unexpected. In fact Azrael would have been sad if she had been initially happy to see him in the room. The utter hatred Avery had for Azrael was strangely appealing and it made Avery who she was. Azrael wouldn’t change that for anything in the world. Oh how hard this son of Thanatos fell. One would have thought he was transfixed by a siren. Then again, maybe that’s what Avery was and once he got close enough to her everything would end in death. Wasn’t that the truth. Azrael mused at this thought. He flexed his fingers the leather biker gloves giving a strained crack, if he got close to anyone it ended in death.
“Nice to see you too.” Azrael said. His brow furrowed when she corrected herself. A tiny smile pulled at his lips but it turned into a sad smile. He really didn’t like seeing Avery in such a state. And the answer to her question was, there wasn’t anything else he’d rather be doing than standing here watching over her. Of course Azrael would feel like a fool to confess such a thing, especially to a girl who hated his guts. He shrugged, “No one else would put up with you.” he hoped that his joking tone was noted by her.
Whenever Avery moved or made the slightest groan Azrael flinched and almost seem to move forward. He was on alert and wanted to get her anything she needed. “You don’t seem like a cake or balloon person anyway. Though I could have brought a party hat and put it on you. In your state I bet you wouldn’t be able to take it off.” again he was joking and Azrael hoped that came across. He was smiling now at her with the image of Avery wearing a point party hat unable to do anything about it. It would look cute perched on her blonde head.
The smile did not stay in place long. He folded his arms across his chest and stared at Avery as she replied in anger to him. He froze at “empousa” and suddenly Katrina’s face was back on Avery’s body. Though instead of alive, he saw Katrina dead on the cot bloodied like she had been in that alley. Azrael tightened his jaw and tried not to let the memory of the past consume him now.
“You shouldn’t say that.” Azrael whispered trying not to let his voice crack. “I don’t—“ his voice got caught in his throat. Azrael coughed and sat back in the chair taking a deep breath trying not to let the tears fall. The thought of Avery meeting the same fate as Katrina was too cruel. Did the Gods really hate him that much? Before he could go back and finish what he was going to say Avery went on. He locked eyes with her.
“Come on Avery, we both know that if there is anyone to pity its me. I’m not here to feel sorry for you. I mean yes I hate what happened and I am sorry you got hurt but I’m not here because I think you deserve pity.” Azrael broke the eye contact and readjusted his position in the chair. He licked his lips. “I’m here cause, for one reason or another, I couldn’t stand the thought of you in pain. If my powers worked in a positive sort of way, I’d be the first to heal you.” Azrael felt dumb. He regretted saying anything at all. Azrael got to his feet. He stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do with his hands or himself. He huffed and backed away from the bedside.
“You’re right, I should just go. Leave you to the healing…ness Blondie.” Azrael said quickly. He gave a half hearted wave and turned his back praying to the Gods that this wave of embarrassment would vanish. |
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Post by Avery Reynolds on Oct 8, 2011 13:50:45 GMT -5
Avery honestly couldn't believe how much the sight of Az had warmed her heart, how much he'd actually made her just feel like there really was a reason to stick around this camp other than making sure they weren't all massacred by that damn god of terror and his cronies. And she hated it. Avery didn't like uncharted territory, as rebellious and outgoing as she prided herself on being. Especially when said uncharted territory involved emotions and matters of the mind or heart. She knew anger. Hatred. Joy, happiness, etc. Avery knew all of it. But she had no idea what the pounding in her heart was, or the butterflies in her stomach, or the sudden yearning to stay around just to stay near this son of Thanatos that happened to be an extreme ass. Well, she had an inkling of what it could be, but she refused to acknowledge it.
But this sudden warmth in her heart suddenly made her feel able to smile a lot easier, despite the guilt tearing her apart. The longer Az stayed here, the better she felt. "I'm in a cot - I'm not a complete cripple," she shot back at him at the birthday hat comment, her voice more joking than it had been in days. "All because I've got a broken wrist doesn't mean I can't swipe off a hat and throw it at you. And I'll tell you right now, I have good aim. And I don't do hats."
Hesitantly, Avery shifted her weight and winced slightly when the move put too much pressure on her bad arm that had the broken wrist. A dulled pain, dulled by ambrosia no doubt, shot up her arm, but Avery ignored it. She was a daughter of Hermes, and she was fairly accustomed to pain. She'd broken her fair share of limbs, though most of the time it was a finger or a toe she had broken. A broken wrist had not necessarily been a new injury to her, but it had been left alone for the past twelve hours and had already started to reset itself the wrong way, as she'd been informed by a healer. Whenever they decided the fix it, they said it would be extremely painful. How wonderful. She tried not to think about it, though her thoughts immediately went to Aria, and she didn't want to continue thinking about that night. Or the waves. The water. The boat. Anything. But, of course, as the mood in their conversation shifted, so did Avery's.
"I can say whatever I want," she muttered weakly, hating to see that she'd inflicted some kind of pain on Az. She avoided looking at him as she continued, "Nothing's going to make it any less true. You weren't there. If Ryan hadn't... Never mind." Finally she looked back at him and found herself locked in his gaze, and suddenly Avery had never felt more entranced... nor had she ever been more afraid. His next words confused her beyond belief, and that confusion and obliviousness were reflected in her eyes as she looked at him. He actually... wanted to be here? It was something she wasn't able to comprehend. She had no response for that, and she said nothing until he made movement to leave.
Her eyes widened as she suddenly sat up straighter. "No, don't! Or, I mean... don't... don't go. Please." Avery swallowed, and closed her eyes. She couldn't believe she was actually reacting this way, but then against she could hardly believe the situation or the feelings that were slowly beginning to take her over. These feelings that were utterly insane, not to mention. She swallowed again, unable to believe that she was about to say what she did. "I want you to... to stay. With me. For a while." Her cheeks flushed red as she looked away from Az and looked down at her free, uninjured hand. She fiddled with her thumb and her (disgustingly) pink shirt. Gods, this was so embarrassing. "I need... a distraction. If you leave, I... I'll just start thinking about what happened. And I don't want to. Please, can... can you stay?" Avery scoffed at herself but then managed a teasing smile. "Even though you are pretty pitiful." |
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Post by Azrael Everett on Dec 31, 2011 1:15:15 GMT -5
  Azrael wondered if there would ever come a day when Avery wouldn’t be pissed at him or sneer at his presence. He sure hoped so. Being near Avery made Azrael feel like a better person and while she reminded him of Katrina, he didn’t feel so alone around her. Bittersweet memories aside, Azrael didn’t want to be anywhere else but beside Avery right now. This would be something to tell her but it would be impossible. She would probably punch him or just frustrate him with denying that Azrael could really like her that way. She was always so negative and untrusting but he was willing to help her work on that.
He smiled at her imagining her with a party hat on. The image was cute and wouldn’t be complete without the displeased grumpy look on her face. “I’d probably have glued it to your head Blondie. Just for further torment.” he joked half heartily. It was without saying that it was in bad taste. He regretted it and made a sour face. “Sorry.” he apologized immediately.
It was true what Avery said. He hadn’t been there on the quest and couldn’t possibly understand what she was going through. It didn’t mean he didn’t care though or couldn’t show genuine concern. Azrael should have said that to her but he didn’t. He kept it locked away in his head with about a dozen of other things he wanted to say. And as much as Azrael didn’t want to go it seemed like there would be no winning with her. If she wanted him to leave he wouldn’t fight against it, not while she was broken like this. On any other day it would be somewhat of a sport, but it would just be cruel. He wanted her to be happy even if it meant his departure.
He was half way to the door when her voice stopped him. Azrael froze his back still turn to Avery. His lips turned up in a smile, hidden from Avery’s view. She didn’t want him to leave after all and that was probably one of the best feelings. There hadn’t been a girl in years to make him feel this way. He glanced over his shoulder at Avery on the cot, his face no longer holding a smile. His expression was hard to read but he was more than glad that she wanted him to stay with her.
“Sure, anything for you Blondie.” he said taking a seat at her bedside once more. Her smile made him grin a little. He went to take her good hand but thought better of it and instead made the gesture to pull her covers up a little further over her. He cleared his throat avoiding eye contact during the awkward motion. He sat back and was silent. He didn’t mind being her distraction when all was said and done.
“That’s me. One big bag of pitiful. Nothing more pitiful than a son of Thanatos.” He exhaled trying to laugh but it didn’t quite work out.
He watched her for a moment, and suddenly finding more beautiful than he had ever before. Maybe it was because Avery was so vulnerable and she had never been so before this moment. Azrael wasn’t going to take advantage of it but it was a side of Avery he hadn’t seen before. And he knew what she was doing, masking pain and full emotions behind an attitude. Azrael recognized this, as he had done it on many occasions. He took a deep breath and stared at her desperately wanting to hold her. He cursed his inherit ability even with his gloves on. Azrael knew that it would be dangerous to be with her regardless of gloves or not. There was always a chance for a slip up.
But Azrael wanted her. No, he needed her. He wanted to be the shoulder she cried on when things got bad. The punching bag for all of her frustration when it felt like the world was against her. He wanted to be the one to help her through every dark time. And unlike Katrina, Azrael wasn’t going to lose her; this was one thing that he would see through till the end. He only wished that Avery could understand all of this. If only he actually had the guts to confess it all. Azrael supposed he was a coward beneath the surface. After what happened with the last girl he cared for, it was no wonder as to why he would be such a coward.
“I have a confession. I’m not really good at this bedside manner stuff. I mean small talk isn’t something I’ve been known for.” He scratched his head and smiled nervously. Azrael wanted so badly to just tell Avery and so badly to lean over and kiss her but that would not be a good idea. He sighed and laced his fingers together on his lap. “My life hasn’t been filled with sunshine and roses so story telling would be out unless you want to feel depressed about something else.” Azrael dropped off and sat still.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath opening his eyes a few seconds later. “Before, when I said I couldn’t stand to see you in pain. I wanted to let you know that I meant it. I may act like a pig chasing after each skirt I see, Dan’s told me that before.” he paused. “And even though you don’t want to think about it, I think you should talk about it. Cause if anyone is going to understand what you’re going through I think its mean. I know that sounds egotistical and kind of douchey, but I’m a son of Thanatos. I’ve seen death, I’ve witnessed it first hand too. I lost a…friend…of mine and I blamed myself for it all. I hate myself still and I hated my life for years after that.”
Azrael’s jaw quivered a little as he tried to stay composed. He couldn’t believe he was telling her everything. “But I was alone, unlike you. I had no one and you can’t imagine what that’s like. You have siblings and friends here to help you through this. You don’t’ have to be alone like I was Avery.” He reached out and touched her good hand with his, the black leather glove a bit moist from sweat. He looked her directly in the eyes.
“You can tell me to walk out that door right now and I won’t so much as glance back at you, I swear to Zeus.” he scoffed a little and attempted a thin smile. “I’m kind of hoping you won’t do that though.”
Azrael licked his lips his eyes brimming with tears. “We’re not as different and you think, and I don’t want to be your enemy or even your frienemy or whatever it’s called. I honest to Gods want to help you and if you can’t see that or don’t want to, then I feel sorry for you…but not until then.” His hand closed around hers his eyes flickering to it momentarily before looking back in her blue eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes. “I can promise you that no one else will understand more than me….well may-maybe Ryan but uhh yeah.” He waved his other hand in front of him dismissing the idea. He didn’t want to be anywhere else but here. And he prayed to his father, who undoubtedly wasn’t listening, that she would not send him away.
“You can’t pretend it didn’t happen, you’ll just hate yourself more later.”  |
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Post by Avery Reynolds on Mar 27, 2012 16:10:00 GMT -5
 Honestly, Avery couldn't understand why Az was still here. She couldn't deny that she was incredibly happy that he decided to listen to her and stay. She wondered, of all the people she knew, that she considered herself close to, how many of them would stay. She figured the number wasn't very high at all... but now, somehow, that low number had gone up one more. Azrael Everett had never struck her as the type to stay if asked. But the second he turned back towards her, she felt herself relax a little bit. For maybe the first time in a while, she felt almost at peace. No, nothing could ever erase the infinite uneasiness she would feel from now on, about the knowledge that she'd allowed someone to die, or the way she'd felt when Deimos had told her how little she mattered. Or the way she thought they'd all drown, when the wave capsized their boat, when she struck her head against the back of a rock...
Avery clenched her eyes shut, trying to banish the images from her head. When her eyes opened again, Az was pulling up her covers. The daughter of Hermes blinked, befuddled by his actions, and she watched him carefully as if half-expecting him to do something else unexpected. She'd never had anyone to take care of her this way before. In all of her eighteen years of living, nobody had ever stayed by her bedside, pulled up her bed covers, had cared for her in the way that Az had even in this short past hour or so. Or however long it was. However long it had been since she and Ryan had washed up pitifully on the shore.
She made a halfhearted attempt at a smile at his attempt of a quip at being pitiful. Deciding his trying merited a response, she managed to say, "Mm, I'm sure I've seen more pitiful things." Avery hated herself for sounding so weak, and yet she had no idea how to make her voice sound stronger. She decided right then and there that the only people she'd let see her like this were Az and Ryan. Anyone else, if there even was anyone else who gave a damn about her well-being, would have to wait until she was feeling stronger. Or at least until her head wasn't in such a mess.
Suddenly, Avery began to feel slightly uncomfortable under Az's gaze. He was looking at her strangely, some kind of emotion in his expression that not only made her feel uneasy, but an emotion that she couldn't depict. After a minute or two, Avery looked away from him and forced herself to take deep breaths. When Azrael started talking, she wasn't sure how to respond, other than to being her gaze back to his. Her brown eyes searched his, and his words intrigued her. She assumed there was something in his past - there was something in everyone's - but she was surprised he was even bringing it up. But then he said that she should talk about it, about the quest, and Avery had to look away then, so he wouldn't see the tears building up.
Oh gods, she didn't want to think about it at all, and yet no matter what she did it was there in her mind. Her good fist clenched, bunching up the blanket underneath it in her grasp. Az went on about how he'd lost a friend, how she wasn't alone, and at the moment it was all getting to be too much for her. But Az deserved to know. He deserved to know what happened, why she'd never be the same old Avery Reynolds ever again. But that meant taking her mind in a direction that she didn't want to go. It meant telling him everything. But if Avery was being honest with herself, she wanted to let it out. Spill her heart out to someone who wouldn't roll their eyes or think she was being a big baby. Someone who would actually understand. And, surprisingly, she trusted Azrael Everett more than anyone right now.
Biting her lip she glanced over at Az and used her good hand to wipe away the tears that were forming. "I'm sorry. I'm always a bitch to you but for some reason you're here trying to make me feel better," she said, smiling only a little before it faded away instantly. Feeling the urge to cry getting stronger, she looked away from Az again and decided to just spill everything. People around camp were probably going to want to know details sooner or later, and Az sure as hell deserved being the first to hear it from the source.
"She drowned." Just saying the words made Avery's throat close up as the reality of it came crashing down on her. "She drowned because I wasn't quick enough. Ryan said we had to go out to sea for the quest, so I... I stole a boat, and everything was fine until the storm hit." She looked down at the blanket now, and clenched her eyes shut as her imagination made her feel like she was rocking, like the boat had, and she gritted her teeth to try and get the idea out of her head so she could continue. "I was... I was trying to steer the boat, the storm came up, I... Ryan and... and Aria-" Avery had to pause again - saying her name was harder than expected. "They didn't know how to... how to swim so I sent them out on deck to get life jackets."
A violent sob escaped her and Avery couldn't hold back the tears anymore. Gods, she should have been dead. She should have been the one to get the life jackets, risk her life, instead of sending out two kids who didn't know how to swim onto a slippery deck with waves. She should have been faster, jumped into the ocean sooner. She was the one who should have drowned, not the little fireball. "A wave hit the boat and... and Aria went overboard. I jumped in to try and save her, but I was too late. I killed an innocent kid, Az, I killed her. I sent her to her death, and she drowned. I'm the one that deserved to die on that stupid island, or in the water, somewhere. Az, I can't..." Avery wanted to curl up into a ball, but knew that she couldn't with the damn broken wrist that the healers hadn't properly fixed yet. The guilt was crushing her, and all of a sudden she felt like she couldn't breath, and she gulped for air as the sobs wracked her body. |
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